What's 2021 bringing on us??
There's bound to be fine & yuck surprises.
1st reflect on 2020. Me? Learning to Deal with isolation of the Q. To make moonshine out of mud, so i tried online dating. So many sites & women - nah! Not me. But with 1 out of 50, i found someone fine. My 1st date ended quickly with an email brush off. Burnt, i preceded with more caution.
What have you tried-success or failures??
Last nite i envisioned covid journey like being stuck alone in space heading for unknown fate. Creeping my way to Mars. Would i survive or die.
Lonliness can be a killer. Apathy to suicide. A full spectrum of pain. To be truly alone is to feel abandoned. Mother Teresa taught me that. Check out the Amazing video musical: “I'm sending you the sacred face.” The beginning is tough but as it moves into her private side: what went on in her head gleaned from her journals released after she died. Suffering was her choice of life's work. I realized my life was similar. I considered myself a warrior fighting to help those no one wanted. To help them not die & to ease some of their pain.
Now— that I've retired i feel so worthless & empty. At 1st i went off on a crazy love sick escape. When that broke me, i gave up & almost died by stopping to care for myself. A passive suicide. Now— I'm trying again to live & find meaning. After listening to the Teresa musical, i had an epiphany: reach out to covid providors who have been traumatized by all death & suffering anyone can imagine. Rx for trauma — group Rx. Sharing their pain with each other. Hence this blog. I reach out to You with tales of my journey offering any solace & camraderie You may discover here.
Comments
No posts